I'm stupid for falling for a complete stranger.

Why do I have such low self esteem? I feel so fat, no, I am fat. I need motivation, but I'm lacking so much of it. I suppose I can try to 'work out' and it could be my post season conditioning for basketball...we'll just see how this goes for me...

My head is so fucked at the moment. I'm seeing moving shadows of people, I'm hearing things when I'm alone. When I ever get the time to sleep, I wake from bad dreams. Its those kinds of dreams where you try so hard to wake up but you can't... I've been so out of it. I'm trying to make things better. It wasn't working.

Help me...

I've always wondered what runs through a person's mind when they steal other people's possessions. Are they proud of themselves? I know my guilt would get the better of me. How is it that it's easier to steal from a store than it is from a person? I know that's the case for me. Its so simple to pick up something and go, "Oh there's no price on this, I guess I'll take it". But in the event that it may belong to someone else, I panic for some reason and start to break into a cold sweat. If many of you didn't know, I sweat when I'm nervous, I also stutter. Observant people may notice this, but that's why I suck at lying.

Its really random I posted this, It was just something running through my mind tonight.

I hope you know you're slowly losing us. This neglect is stupid. We've been there for you through thick and thin, but you leave us for them. Little do you know that they'll ditch you eventually, you're like a new toy to them. Once they're tired of you, you'll come crawling back to us begging for forgiveness.

Yes, I'm pissed at you. You should know why. You don't even try to fix it. Well you know what? I'm not going to even bother, I'M the one that's mad at YOU, so you should apologize and try to fix things, not me. In whatever crazy world you live in, everything doesn't work itself out eventually, there had to be effort on the other end.

I'm sick and tired of this.

I'm sick and tired of you.

I miss the old you, the one that we all loved.

I hope you get over this phase soon.

ah, I got my teeth extracted, I feel a lot better than this morning though :]