My emotions are driving me MAD.

Lately, my memories have been haunting me.

Ohai blogger, long time no post. I never really found time to type shit into here. Currently I'm having trouble sleeping, its mostly because of random thoughts and memories that float around in my mind. Any little thing to come into my mind just causes me to throw a tantrum, I get so mad at myself to the point where I don't want to sleep. Recently though, its basketball thoughts, such as will I be able to make the team, am I good enough, what do I look like out there, what do others think of me, etc. I think as of right now, I'm beating myself up about my ankle and for not being able to attend camp. I know camp isn't much, but I really wanted to do it. To build a team chemistry with the potential varsity team, because as of right now, I feel like an outsider to them. They have such great communication on the court, when I'm thrown out there, I ruin that balance that they have. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks that, or maybe I'm not. I know for sure though, that I have a lot of shit to work on offensively and speed wise. Hopefully conditioning this Fall will do me some good. I feel as if I NEED to make the team, considering there are only like 5 seniors trying out next year. AH, and I'm sorta kinda noticing this one girl :x I can't say I like her 'cause I haven't really spoken to her, but she's cute. I've only seen her at games and of course, we don't really converse there. I have talked to her once, on Monday at the basketball camp. I got to know a bit about her, like that she swims and went to the same elementary school I went to. She's also taking design tech and spanish 3 this year. As of right now, I'm trying to contemplate of a way to get to know her better, since I won't see her until school starts. Will a loserish wall post on her fb work? I don't even know how to approach this. How depressing >< Why is it that all the cute ones are young? I feel like such a creeper :\ I'm not really expecting much, I just want to get to know her. As friends.