We lost... I know this shouldn't be a surprise for falls church, but we played as a team for once, and we put all our heart into it. We only lost by one point and our game wasn't one of those one team takes a huge lead and the other catches up. No, we were neck and neck the whole time. We scored one then they scored and so on. I shot a buzzer shot, (I never make shots in games) it was perfect form and everything, it even went in, but the ref said it didn't count ): unbelieveably this is the first loss I've ever cried about. Don't get me wrong, everyone cried. For those of you who didn't go, missed a pretty epic and intense game. By the way, we had the biggest amount of fans today :). Well Stuart game is tomorrow, we will win.

4:55am...I still can't sleep...

It's 4:40...I can't sleep. I've tried. I'm getting tired of it, the more I'm awake, the more I think and I start crying...i've lost at lot of people this school year. I don't talk to any of them anymore and I know I'm the one at fault. I'm becoming more isolated. I don't know what's wrong with me. I really don't =\ the constant yelling and screaming in my house doesn't help. I seem to be always fighting back I'm reality I don't want to. I absolutly hate getting yelled it. A tension has been growing between me and everyone. I'm always mad or pissed. My thoughts keep jumping right now. I can't do this. I guess i'll end here. Let's hope I pass out soon so I can get a decent amount of sleep before I go to my uncles house.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I've had it. I really have..

Sammy randomly ims me, we talk a bit and she keeps saying she misses me, and later she starts to say she misses "us". Its amazing how she still likes me, its been months since I've talked to her. Not to mention she's on the other side of the world?

Her page used to say "Melissa, My beautiful baby girl.
Since the day I met you I knew there was something about you I liked.
Now I realize that it’s everything about you i adore.
You comfort me like no body else, When I talk to you I forget about anything that’s bothering me and everything seems fine.
You’ve made me the happiest I’ve been in so long, I truly am lucky to be able to call you mine.
You always put that ridiculously dorky smile on my face.
I loved you then, I love you now, And ill love your forever.<3"

Well that was when we were 'going out'

Its surprising how she kept her word on loving me. And shockingly she told me this today:
мєℓιѕѕα says:
July 29 to be exact.
ѕαммуנα∂є. says:
Yeah i know.
ѕαммуנα∂є. says:
Still in my calender marked as Meli <3

I really don't know what to say...I really don't. I'm so confused now.

Washington and lee...It was a really good game. I was actually sick the two days of practice before the game. I went to practice but didn't practice. I just observed. So, today I was expecting to be benched the whole game, and to my surprise I played almost half the game. This game made me feel great because coach make me guard the main offensive player on their team, who's fucking fast I might add, I was shocked. She always refers to me as the 'slowest player on the team', but yet she makes me guard one of the fastest players on the other team!? I did it though, I chased that girl for a good 3-4 minutes, no shots, no good passes, I shut her off completely. I chased her another 3-4 period. I knew she was tired, I could see the frustration in her face. I even wowed our coach, she mentioned it. I'm just real proud of myself to be honest, my stamina has gone up and my defense has obviously gotten better. I'll make sure I get to play next game. Why? Because its Wakefield! One of the only schools we have a chance against! Plus, I know 3 people on the team :] OMG! Tomorrow at practice, we scrimmage freshmen! I'm so excited. I can't wait!

Hmm...school tomorrow. Its supposed to snow on Tuesday, maybe our game will get cancelled? I haven't really achieved much this break, haven't finished any homework. Not a good start I suppose. Hm...I found out I can't sleep unless I have someone else in the room with me. I sleep like a baby when there's someone else in the room. I might not update this anymore, I don't think anyone reads it.