I hate...

These fucking mood swings, the feeling of wanting someone close/to hold, the empty feeling I have inside.

The mood swings, one moment I'm extremely happy and feel like I'm on top of the world. And a few hours following that I start to think and feel like shit. Simple solution. Stop thinking. I can't seem to control it though, I sit there and bam, a thought comes into my mind and it slowly develops into a very depressing thought.. I hate these thoughts for one main reason...they lead to bad dreams. Lately I've been able to clear my mind before I go to sleep, thus allowing me to have good dreams, the ones that replay in my mind through out the day, they make me smile.

I want to hold someone so badly. I just want to hug someone so tight for as long as possible. It gives me a warm feeling inside when I ever get to. I know this sounds weird but I like touching people [NOT IN THE SEXUAL WAY!] I like holding people's hands...eh, I'm a weird child.

So, lately I've been messing around with Shannon's mind. I know I shouldn't and I don't know why I do it. Some days I like her and some days I don't. I can't really picture me having a realtionship with her though, I can't really see it working out. Ever. I know she likes me, she even told me that she loved me, and that she still does. I honestly don't understand why though. I mean, I know I'm mean to her. I do it on purpose so she'll stop talking to me and that her feelings would die down. One day I asked her why she liked me, and she answered me "I don't know". I mean, how do you not know why you like someone? She always complains to me about how I'm mean to her and that she hates it, I always follow that up with the question "Then why do you like me if I'm so mean to you?" She replies that she just does. I even stated to her that I'm a horrible significant other, and that she likes that? I honestly want to know why her or anyone else would ever like me, take a look at me, I'm gross to look at and I talk way more than I need to. God, I'm so obnoxious. [edit] She finally told me why she likes me. She likes me for my personality and for my sarcasm? I suppose I understand why she'd like my personality, but sarcasm? No, one like my sarcasm ha ha..

I'd rant on even more but..I'm tired of typing here.

I'll go rant to Vy-anh or something :]